I finally found a game of Ultimate this weekend. The game isn't terribly well-known in Japan, particularly in Hokkaido, so I was beginning to despair at the thought of not playing the only sport I'm remotely competent at for at least a year. Through the Internet and some luck, I managed to hook up with some Hokkaido University students who play pickup every Saturday. We played a few hours of three-on-three, and now I'm hella sore. Good times.

Saturday night featured Cosmic Bowling (yes, it's just as lame in Japan) with a rag-tag international crew: Mark (England), Kana (Japan), Brendan (Ireland), Ben (Scotland), Sebastian (Germany), and me (Military Industrial Complex).

In spite of his highly unorthodox (read: fruity, further accentuated by the pink ball he was using) style, Brendan won the first game. After nearly dropping an 11-pound ball on my foot a few times, I elected to embrace my inner sissy and go with the 9-pounder, which had fantastic results. I won the remaining two games to keep the Bowling Crown where it belongs - in fat, sweaty American hands.

On Sunday, Scottish Ben and I went to a driving range. Being the adaptable folk they are, the Japanese have managed to satisfy both their insatiable lust for golf and their notable lack of land area through the twin wonders of tall freaking poles and some netting. It was far nicer than any range I've been to in the States. A soothing aural IV of muzak-ed 70's tunes. Vending machines only steps away. A comfy chair in which to contemplate the futility of golf. And, best of all, the Magic Tee.

Apparently 90% of all Scots are actually birthed on a golf course. Ben is Scottish. Thus he's damn good at golf. His goal is to hit a ball over the netting and into the apartment complex roughly 180 yards away.

Apparently I was born with a defect in gene CM-3722, the "Hit the Ball Straight" gene. This ball was actually slicing well before I made contact. Note that I'm wearing my Robert "I used to be a Viking" Griffith jersey in honor of the first season of football I'll ever miss. So sad.

Some guys! And they're golfing! I added this mostly to give a slightly different view of the range, and to eat more bandwidth.

And finally...at the range we found the single greatest bit of Engrish ever. I wanna be a Champion someday!

*gland* champions? ewwww. you know, maybe it's not engrish. maybe they really *are* gland champions. i mean, the japanese have to win all those eating contests *somehow*...

is that Yoko Ono who appears to be 1992's Gland Champion? And, a more important question, where can I get my very own magic tee?